Kitty Trust Issues

When kitty comes to live with us, she sometimes brings a lot of emotional baggage. We usually don't know what that baggage is, so trust can be an issue. Here are some tips and techniques to help foster trust in your older cat.

When we invite an older cat to live with us, that cat may have trust issues that we are unaware of. Whether we got Kitty from the Animal Shelter, a Rescue Group, or the folks down the street; she has issues. Sometimes, she was removed from a home because of litter box problems or aggressive behaviors. Perhaps she liked to claw the owner's favorite piece of furniture. Sometimes, Kitty showed up on a doorstep and needed a home but none was available - so absolutely nothing is known. In all these cases, behavior can tell you a lot. A cat that is afraid of feet, sounds, certain movements, and so on; can really tell you a lot about herself by her fears.

So, you now have an older cat with little or no history. She won't let you pick her up - forget it! Maybe she hides under the bed and won't come out. Maybe she is running for cover every time you stand up, but when you are sitting down, she is willing to be in the same room with you. Another cat is constant stalking you and is actually dangerous to be around. Each cat has issues, and the behavior you encounter gives clues to how you will work with her.

Even Cats grow lonely and anxious.
Every cat with behavior problems will try to fit in at first, and then begin to misbehave. This means that you may not realize that Zinnia doesn't smell so much like a rose for a little while. She then begins to urinate in the laundry basket instead of her litter box. This cat needs to be gently retrained to use the litter box instead of the hamper. Just remember that she has issues with the box that you don't know about - perhaps for good reason. She may have had urinary tract problems and blame the litter. She may have a history of her box not being cleaned, and she wants her box cleaned every time she uses it... She might also be trained to use the toilet, so give her that opportunity before you jump to conclusions. There are so many things that can go wrong - and you are the lucky human who will fix things for her.

Miss Snowball doesn't like to wash herself or is prone to mats. She also won't let you groom her. What to do? Find a groomer in town who will groom a cat, or talk to your vet. Usually the veterinarian has a groomer on staff or knows a few good ones. Luckily, you won't have to have this done more than a couple times a year.

Trixie is afraid of hands. She won't let you pet her or get near her. But she seems to want to be friends. A tickler wand is a wonderful toy, and promotes bonding. Try this, then perhaps a finger dangler glove, then slowly get your hands closer to her. Don't try to pet her, just let her get comfortable being near your hands. She will rub against you and eventually even your hands will be rubbed. Then, it's OK to scratch lightly, but don't try to hold her or pick her up. When she is ready, she will jump in your lap for snuggles. Don't ever confine her with your hands, or you may be in for some scratches or bites.

Buster is afraid of loud noises. Every time a bus goes by, he runs for cover and yowls forlornly. Talk to him and let him know you understand his fear. Remind him that the noise is outside. When your son-in-law comes over, make it very clear that he is to start his motorcycle a half-block away, not right next to the house. Try to comfort Buster as best you can and try to take his mind of the noise. This cat should be boarded if there will be any remodeling done, but otherwise he will be fine.

Max will bite the hand that feeds him and then some! He's an aggressive, feisty bruiser of a cat who needs to dominate every thing he sees. Stare him down, challenge him at every turn, or you will feel the claws. Otherwise, provide lots of toys and opportunities to attack and dominate the household. A dog needs to have thick skin around this cat. You will need to hold your alpha position with some strength and intention. This cat is not easy to live with. If he becomes too difficult, try some herbal calming preparations added to his water. This cat is not suitable for children, but if you got him and you have kids, be sure they understand that Max is not someone to play with. He will keep all other animals out of the yard. Remember to use the "push in" technique when he bites to minimize injury. He may never be a cuddler, but he will tell you in subtle ways how much he loves and appreciates you. Expect a bird or mouse on the porch every so often.

Gem is a pretty little calico but every time you get near her, she is clawing you! She flips in the middle of petting and becomes a wildcat and can do some real damage. It's like you are her favorite catnip mouse or something! Eyes are not safe. She is drawing blood and won't stop. She won't back off, either.
This little girl was abused. She was always forced to accept cuddles and probably confined. She was never listened to so she only knows that she has to be aggressive or violent to be heard and understood. Look for her subtle signs of "enough closeness" and you will be safer. Leave her wanting more. The less you approach her, the more she will approach you. Watch her and pay attention to everything she does. Learn her signs. By listening to her, she will calm down. She may always be a little skitchy in deep cuddle sessions, but she will learn that when she's had enough you won't confine her, so she will begin to trust you.

Misty is a pretty little kitty, loves everything you do and eats like a champ. She uses the litter box without a hitch. However, when you are asleep or away during the day, she is a holy terror in the house! You come home to shredded drapes, snags in your clothes, bedding pulled from the bed and your furniture is showing serious wear! This cat has a claw problem. First, have them trimmed and see if that helps. If you see her trying to sharpen her claws on the furniture, provide a cat tree for the purpose and work her onto it as best you can. Keep the claws trimmed, no matter what. She can't do damage with dull claws. I suggest a weekly trim session, and if she won't let you do it, get a friend to help. It's too costly to take her in to be groomed weekly just to have her claws trimmed.

All these cats need to be dealt with in certain ways to build that trust bond between owner and cat. The owner can't speak cat and the cat can't speak human, but we can make ourselves understood to each other. Learn to communicate the simple things like "would you like some food," "get up," or "get down" and you will see the world of communication open up between you.

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