Meowing (but only when awake... :)

by Helen
(La Mesa, CA)

I had a pair of neutered, 9 year old, short-haired Tuxedo boys who came to my family from the same litter. Their mother was a feral cat, but all her kittens were domesticated from birth.

Mickey, my alpha boy, is curious and sociable, unafraid of almost any situation. Clancy, the other boy, was overweight, shy upon first meeting strangers, and a "love bunny" lap cat, who would greet people he knew by lying on his back to have his tummy scratched and purring/gazing lovingly into your face when you petted him. They would sometimes scuffle in the night, but mostly slept quietly with my children (or me) or in their cat beds.

In recent years, 'the boys' have been through three moves, the challenges of my 3 active kids (now adults and moved out), and had finally become used to living alone with me. They were well behaved, were good travelers, and thrived at "summer camp" at a friend's home whenever I left town for longer trips. If Mickey ever became aggressive, I could calm him down with what I called the 'cattle press', gently wrapping him up in my lap and folding my body around him so he couldn't move for just a minute or two. He'd sometimes come and ask for it...

Unfortunately, at about the same time as my boyfriend moved into my house last month, we discovered that Clancy had developed a large tumor on his heart and had to be put down. It was very sudden, and Mickey did not get to see Clancy's body. For the first week afterwards, Mickey looked all over for Clancy. Then, he stopped eating, acted lethargic and would stare into space with his eyes open. We were all grieving.

The really annoying thing that is now driving us crazy, however, is the meowing. Prior to losing Clancy, Mickey would meow just a bit in the morning (wet food time), but only when someone was in the kitchen (he'd never wake us up) or if the dry food bowl was empty. Lately he's gotten spoiled, and though his appetite is back, he'll only eat wet gravy-type food.

He has a very expressive meow and you can tell when he's irritated vs. just meowing to hear the sound of his own voice. I can tolerate the daytime meowing, which seems to be lessening (I work at home), but the night time meowing is unbearable. Nothing stops it (going out, coming in, treats, food, etc.), not even squirting with the water bottle set to 'stun'. He'll run, but then yell at us from the next room. It's almost as if he's unhappy, and wants to be quite sure we're aware of it.

Any suggestions for helping him (and ourselves) through this time?


It sounds like Mickey is looking for his brother. He is still grieving. You will need to cuddle him and hold him to help him through this. Talk to him with pictures in your head, and picture Clancy in his younger days, playing with Mickey. This will help a lot.

~Morgen