Rest in Peace my Midge..."Mama's Girl"
by Teal Dowling
My Midge (04/01/04-03/01/08) Well, I have always had a special connection with cats ever since I was a little girl. About 4 years ago I went to a friend's house who had some kittens. I hadn't even planned on getting any pets. Heck, I didn't know she had them. I told my now fiance' that I really wanted one. He said he didn't mind and for me to pick one out. All of them were adorable and I wanted to take all of them home, but of course, I couldn't. I could only pick one. So, I picked the littlest one which was the runt of the litter. I decided to call her Midge...short for Midget since she was the runt. And it kind of went with the M on her forehead. She was a brownish gray color with no specific patterns. She was kind of dull looking actually. However, there was just something about her that I connected with immediately. She followed me everywhere I went!! So, I decided to take her home that day. She was so tiny that she fit into one of my hands alone. I had cats when I was little, but this was cat was MINE. She was like my baby...the child I never had. During the past 4 years I went gone through a lot of things in my life...and Midge was always there for me. No matter how bad my day was or what stress I might was feeling, she was there to ease everything. Her love was unconditional and so was mine for her. There were just so many things I loved about her. I don't think I could fit it all in this paragraph. She was such a good girl. She didn't bite, she was extremely loving, and she didn't jump up on the counters.....ok...well, maybe just once in a while she did. Of course, she thought I didn't see her!! LOL. But, she was my heart. Everyday I knew that I could come home and she would be at the door to say "Hey Mommy...I missed you. Where have you been?" Then, she would come up to me and put her paw on me while stretching so I would love on her. She slept above my head on her own little pillow every night. She would lay on that pillow until I got up out of that bed. And when I would awaken she would get up and make this little "BRRRR" noise....like a purr but not really a purr. Well, I eventually started noticing that her habits were changing and that she wasn't eating like normal. She would get sick after trying to eat at every meal. She then started rapidly losing weight and wouldn't do anything but sleep. So, I knew something was wrong. I guess it's that motherly instinct. I decided she needed to be checked out. I took her to one place and they told me it was hairballs, and they gave me something for it and pretty much shoved me out the door. I tried giving her the medicine and tried other foods. Still, nothing was working. So, I took her to another vet. This time I told them to run some blood work on her. The bloodwork was done and it showed nothing really. I knew something was wrong even though it wasn't showing up in her blood. I then told them that I wanted them to do an ultrasound on her so I had to leave her overnight since I had to be at the hospital in the AM for school clinicals (nursing). I remember it like it was yesterday. I got the horrible news over the phone while I was at clinical that Midge had a huge mass in her abdomen between her stomach and liver. It was most likely cancer. I cried all day at the hospital in front of anyone and everyone. I didn't even care who saw me. My emotions totally overcame me. The vet them told me that it would cost up to $2500 to have surgery on her. I knew we couldn't afford it. We could barely make it as it was. She eventually wouldn't eat at all and I tried force feeding her by syringe in small amounts throughout the day. I gave her pedialyte because she was so dehydrated. I did everything I possibly could to make her stay with me. But, the day came that she wouldn't even take the medicine, food or pedialyte that I was trying to give her. I would put her in her cat box to try to get her to use the bathroom, and she just wouldn't do anything. As a student nurse, I knew this was a very bad sign. She would meow in pain when I picked her up, and then she started hiding in the closet and in dark places. I knew the time was coming fast. I had to quickly make the hardest decision in my life. I knew I loved her more than anything, and I just couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore. I didn't want my baby to hurt. I told my fiance' to come home and get me and take me to the vet that Saturday to have her put down. I layed her on the pillow in my lap the whole way there, and I just loved on her. I looked at her beautiful face and told her how much her mommy loved her. All I could do was give her kisses and cry the whole way there...as I am now. I can remember the sunset on the way there. It was so beautiful. I will never forget it. I said a prayer for her and told God to please come take her from me into heaven. It hasn't even been a week since this all happened. I still cry everyday and always think of her before I fall asleep. When I came home tonight from the store I looked down as I stepped into the doorway to look for her. And she wasn't there. I have felt so depressed and lonely without her. I just hope that God can help me through this and heal my broken heart. I just can't understand why she had to be taken from me so soon. She was only 4 years old. She was still a baby in my eyes. So, just remember that nothing in life is guaranteed and to always love those you care about as much as you possibly can. You never know what tomorrow may hold.
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